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It’s Singles’ Night at the Atlanta Braves game on July 3. And while Jeff Francoeur (photo) would be the kind of guy you might like to meet at such an event, he’s married. Brian McCann might get a little jealous, too.

For $25, singles get a seat in the special Singles’ Night section in the Golden Moon Casino Pavilion (the former Lexus Level before gas prices skyrocketed), a pre-game party and two drinks. Suave singles will use the complimentary drink tickets to meet a hottie, chat them up at the pre-game party and then try to be interesting for nine innings.

The Braves play the Phillies on Thursday. Game time is 7:10 p.m. When – and if – you score is up to you. It’s also Christmas in July at the Ted on Thursday, complete with snow, a Christmas tree and Santa and his helper arriving by parachute. Really.

Hat tip to Braves Love for the photo. And don’t forget to vote for McCann, Chipper and other Braves for the All-Star game here. Deadline is Wednesday.

Ok, maybe labeling this summer (and fall) as the worst ever is overstating things a bit. But it’s looking to be a long summer for sports fans in Atlanta. Consider this:

The Atlanta Dream keeps on losing. The team’s 15th consecutive loss came on Sunday against the Detroit Shock, the third time Detroit has beaten Atlanta this season. The Dream did stay close, keeping the game tied as late as midway through the third quarter. But a loss is a loss and this one was 100-92.

The Dream start a three-game home stand on Tuesday and there is an effort underway by fans to pack Philips Arena and make a good showing for the nationally-televised game.

Though sexy Joey Harrington, a backup quarterback for the hapless Atlanta Falcons, and his wife are settling into their intown lifestyle, turns out Harrington is the worst quarterback in the NFL. Ever. (Hat tip to Right Down Peachtree.) That’s on top of this nugget: The Sporting News Pro Football yearbook says the Falcons will go 1-15 this season. Ouch.

At least rookie QB Matt Ryan (photo) is all thumbs up while enjoying his down time before things heat up in August.

The Atlanta Braves fall to fourth place. John Smoltz is done for this season and likely forever. Chipper’s going to the DL and Frenchy stinks. Yeah, I wrote it. Stinks. The All-Star break can’t come soon enough for this club – or us.

Relief pitcher Mike Gonzalez has been out of the Braves lineup since May 2007. He blew out his elbow, had reconstructive surgery and has been rehabbing ever since. But he returned last week with some success.

Before being activated last week in Texas, Gonzalez had been on the disabled list since May 16, 2007. He was so eager to return to the Braves’ bullpen, and had so much pent-up energy to release, that he began rocking on the mound during extended spring training games.

But even in that atmosphere, which he likened to pitching in front of two fans (a scout and someone’s mother), his fidgeting wasn’t all that pronounced.

That all changed when he made his season debut Wednesday against the Rangers. Like a caged animal, Gonzalez swayed and bounced on the balls of his feet, even when the batter hadn’t yet entered the box. It was a save situation, with the pressure that closers are accustomed to.

Out of site, out of mind I guess. But his return is a reminder of not only the boost he brings to the bullpen, but how the 30-year-old Texan ratchets up the eye candy factor on the roster. Fans need something to gawk at to make us forget the Braves’ on-field struggles.

(Hat tip to Braves Love for the photo.)

Have we lost the love for Frenchy?

Jeff Francoeur, the local-grown slugger for the Atlanta Braves, is coming under fire for his less-than-stellar performance of late. So says Mark Bradley, a sports columnist for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

As tepid as [his] numbers are, they don’t quite explain the rancor directed Francoeur’s way. In Sunday’s sports section he received three mentions (none flattering) in The Vent. If e-mails to a certain writer (namely, me) are any measure, the suggestions go like this: Bat Frenchy eighth; bench Frenchy; send Frenchy to the minors until he learns the strike zone.

His numbers are weak, as are those of the Braves. So it seems pretty natural that the face of the franchise gets some of the blame. But have we lost the love for Frenchy?

Well, we grumbled a little when he packed on some pounds over the winter break. But no, we haven’t lost that loving feeling. Besides, he’s one half of the McFrenchy bromance and that gives us the lighter moments we need during this tough stretch of Braves baseball.

Can it get any worse for the Atlanta Braves? Well, yeah.

Chick-fil-A, the tasty yet not-so-gay-friendly Atlanta-based restaurant chain, thinks it has the remedy to what ails the Braves – a 40-foot mechanical bovine hoisted atop the Ted.

The 15,000-pound, tomahawk-chopping creation will sit between the Coca-Cola bottle that shoots fireworks after home runs and the out-of-town scoreboard. The 13-year-old advertising campaign surrounding the Chick-fil-A cows urges people to “Eat Mor Chikin.”

“People have a fondness for the cows,” said Robin Ogle, Atlanta area marketing director for the chain. “Anytime we can make a cow bigger and funnier, people love it. They respond to it.”

The chain, closed on Sundays, says the cow will chop seven days a week. It debuts on June 20.

The Braves are in a downward spiral with a disabled list that keeps growing, road wins that won’t happen and a bullpen that would have trouble beaning even this mechanical cow. Can the cow cure the Braves?

Photo: Kern Studios

As if all of the psychobabble surrounding the Atlanta Braves road woes isn’t enough, now they seem just plain jinxed.

Consider this series of events on Tuesday: Chipper Jones and his injured quad were relegated to pinch hitting, John Smoltz had season-ending surgery, Manny Acosta imploded in the eighth against the Cubs after Tom Glavine left the game with an elbow injury and Jair Jurrjens sprained an ankle walking down dugout steps and was later scratched from his start tonight.

Come again? Yes, the attractive rookie pitcher, a 22-year-old from the Netherlands, stumbled on the stairs and twisted his right ankle. Walk much? If it wasn’t so serious, it’d be kinda funny to consider how that happened.

The Braves are riding a four-game losing streak, own Major League Baseball’s worst road record and have slipped 6 ½ games behind East-leading Philadelphia. Braves Love pulled compared to the team’s Opening Day roster with those who have since been injured and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports there are $62 million worth of players out of action right now.

Can it get any worse?

Oh, those woeful Atlanta Braves.

They already own Major League Baseball’s worst record on the road and today, start a 10-game road trip in Chicago. Their hold on baseball’s best record at home slipped when the Phillies came to the Ted and left with a three-game sweep. There’s talk of Jeff Francoeur needing his favorite teddy bear on the road. (Maybe he and bearish Brian McCann can step up their bromance and tuck each other in for added comfort.)

And now, there’s the psychobabble: When on the road, the Braves suffer from culture shock, so says a psychologist.

“They may be maximizing the differences between playing at home and away,” said Dr. John M. Silva, a professor of sports psychology at the University of North Carolina. Unlike the physical rigors of travel, this creeping mindset “[is] where the athlete’s thinking, ‘Oh, God, we’re going on the road. I don’t play well there, I hate to travel.’”

It gets worse:

“I want to call it a ‘Sports Travel Sub-Culture Shock,’” suggested Michael Brein, aka “The Travel Psychologist.” Social psychologist Brein sees some parallels between visitors to unfamiliar cultures and traveling athletes encountering big, fuzzy, noogie-dispensing mascots and mother-insulting fans.

Let’s hope the now Chipper-less team can eek out a few wins this week and put to rest this troublesome talk of teddys and travel.

Jeff Francoeur should probably grab the goods a little less.

That’s if he wants to keep that image of his squeaky-clean. And it appears he does, wanting to take his good looks, home-grown status and talent and package them together to play corporate pitchman.

He switched agencies to Career Sports last December and wants to expand his major deals beyond Delta Air Lines, Under Armour and Mizuno, reports the Atlanta Business Chronicle. He’s thinking Coke, Home Depot and Chick-fil-A.

The son of a DeKalb County school administrator who married his high school sweetheart, his all-American charm seems almost too good to be true.

Career Sports’ Molly Fletcher described Francoeur as a “local hero” and “an all-American guy” who is “very, very smart and very likable and transcends gender and ethnicities.”

She said Francoeur is as marketable to a 23-year-old man as he is to a 55- or 65-year-old woman. Fletcher’s strategic plan for Francoeur is to find “brands and companies that we want to be with for a long time” that can “grow together like marriages.”

Uh, Molly. Don’t forget the gays. Where we go first, everyone else tends to follow.

We do love those Atlanta Braves and their unabashed affection on the field. A hat tip to Braves Love  for this fun exchange between Mark Teixeira (left) and Chipper Jones:

Chipper: [stares at hand-holding]


Teix: What?


Chipper: I don’t think we’re supposed to be holding hands, dude.


Teix: No, man, it’s fine. It’s not like you’ve got a handful of this spectacular bubble butt I’m rocking.


Chipper: True that.


Teix: What part? The touching? Or my beautiful, beautiful heinie?


Chipper: Dude, just say “ass”.


Teix: NO! That would be inappropriate.


Chipper: I think the fact that we’re still holding hands is inappropriate.


Teix: Don’t worry, no one’s looking. Not even that … AP … photographer …


Chipper: … [expletive deleted]

 

Jordan Schafer’s road to redemption began on Friday.

The 21-year-old center fielder with the cover boy looks – who also happens to be the No. One prospect for the Atlanta Braves – completed his 50-game suspension on Friday. Major League Baseball pulled the plug on the promising prospect in early April for allegedly using human growth hormones.

He returned to Class AA Mississippi over the weekend and is expected to hit the field in a few days. The 6-foot-1-inch, 190-pound player was named heir apparent to Andruw Jones during Spring Training, just before a new internal investigations unit of the MLB lowered the boom.

Still unresolved, though, is any explanation from Schafer on what happened. He’s talked publicly once, as has his father, and both would only refute the HGH charges with the weak explanation that the situation was misconstrued and they couldn’t comment further. Schafer really needs to come clean to dissipate the clouds hovering over him and his career.